With the average cost of a wedding now standing at a dizzying £27,161 according to a survey by The Independent I thought it would be pertinent to give couples 5 excellent reasons to not waste money on their wedding day.
This is not intended to be negative or derogatory to any weddings or any suppliers but my intention is to be thought provoking.
Number 5 is the one that will really give you food for thought.
What do I mean by “wasting money” on your wedding then? I mean spending money on things which are unneccessary, unwanted, pointless, you could have done differently or money that could have been better spent elsewhere.
Want Vs Need
If you’re super organised then you might be the sort of person that has a list or an excel spreadsheet detailing everything that you have organised for your wedding alongside the costings involved, balance due and all the other details.
Have a look down the list and look at each thing in turn and with each thing ask yourself “Is this something that I want or is it something I actually need?”
When I say need, I actually mean NEED, as in the bare minimum required in order for the wedding to actually take place.
This, as it turns out, is not a very great deal at all.
I am not suggesting for one second that the bride should be wearing her dressing gown and slippers and the groom in his slouchy Sunday tracksuit bottoms and the vest top that’s still got a 2 year old tomato sauce stain on it but the wedding could go ahead like this.
I am not saying don’t have all of the things on your list but I am quietly asking you to examine these things and asking whether they’re necessary – not in order to get you to not have them but instead to examine them and be grateful for them.
Do It Yourself Vs Don’t Do It Yourself
I don’t want to be seen to be derogatory to any other suppliers as I know everyone works hard but there are certain suppliers out there who when I look at what they are actually providing for the day and the value it has I really wonder why couples haven’t just done it themselves.
Maybe it’s because they have money to burn, maybe they simply don’t have the time – it could be any number of reasons but I’d suggest looking into this yourself as to whether you need a professional or not.
Sometimes it is just a case of “yes, a professional could do it better but it’s not a game-changing thing so I’m going to do it myself”
Cost Vs Value
This is one of the biggest things that I try and convey to couples planning their weddings as it is not something which is immediately obvious particularly with certain types of suppliers.
People tend to work in numbers, especially when it comes to money and booking things for their weddings.
Supplier X who does “insert wedding service here” charges this much and Supplier Y who does “insert slightly different wedding service here” charges a bit less so lets go with Supplier X, right?
That is making a decision based purely on cost and unless the two suppliers are providing EXACTLY the same item/service then the decision should be made based on value.
But what is value?
Value is about what a wedding item or wedding service actually DOES for your wedding day.
Going back to Want VS Need quickly with this in mind what does a Wedding dress do for your wedding day?
She could get married in jeans and a t shirt, right?
But the Wedding Dress isn’t JUST a piece of clothing, it can be part of a childhood dream, it can be a symbol of elegance and purity, but more than anything it gives the Bride a sense of beauty, of importance, of living in a dream and of so many other beautiful emotions that jeans and a t-shirt couldn’t possibly fulfil.
If you aren’t sure what something or some service is providing for your day then ask the supplier!
As a wedding magician people’s first instinct might be that I’m just doing card tricks, where’s the value in that?
Well number one my card tricks are awesome – but much more importantly it isn’t about the tricks I’m performing on the day it is about their impact on the day itself.
The two hour gap between the ceremony and the wedding breakfast is typically long, slow and no-one really knows each other – the entertainment that I provide kills the lull that naturally occurs, it provides talking points for the rest of the day, it breaks the ice between guests and brings people together.
If I’m performing at that time of day not only do I allow the happy couple the chance to enjoy their photos being taken because their guests are being looked after but I also help set the tone for the entire day.
That’s my value as a wedding supplier – do your suppliers know theirs?
One Day Vs The Rest of your Life
Weddings are massive business nowadays – some crazy couples are even hiring magicians nowadays (plants tongue firmly into cheek).
To spend upwards of £20,000 on a single day (or perhaps a weekend) is a huge amount of money for most people – often people are getting themselves into debt just to make sure that one single day in their entire lives is exactly how they think it should be.
But it is just one day and paying it off for years afterwards could be considered to not be the best way to start your lives together as a married couple.
Wedding Vs Marriage
Following on from the above I’ll ask a pretty important question.
What is more important to you, your wedding or your marriage?
I think you know the answer to this already.
Would you rather spend £500 on your wedding and be married forever or spend £50,000 and it last 2 years?
The wedding is the party the celebrates you and your partner joining together by law but this is just the beginning really.
One thing that isn’t really mentioned anywhere on my site is the fact that I am a qualified as a Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapist, I no longer do this due to my work commitments with magic.
During my time dealing with clients with a variety of different issues and conditions I found it absolutely startling how many people would keep these incredibly personal and testing issues secret from their partners.
Not only this but the amount of things that people would tell me about their thoughts or their feelings towards their partners both positive or negative.
There seems to be an inherent lack of communication in relationships and one thing that I’ve learnt is that honesty is always the best policy, always, because once trust goes it takes a long time for it be built up again.
One of the best ways to communicate with your partner is to learn what their “love language” is – you can find this by reading “The 5 languages of love” by “Gary Chapman”.
It is without a doubt corny and a bit cheesy but it is also one of the most insightful books on relationships I’ve ever read – after reading it I understood myself, my partner and my relationship better than I ever have.
I’d recommend it to any couple regardless of whether your relationship is in a great place or a terrible place.
Weddings are fun and amazing days but Marriage is where the work begins and much more important.
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