John and Jane Smith married at an undisclosed Dorset location on Thursday 1st September expecting to have one of the most special and beautiful days of their lives and despite creating a stunning and memorable Wedding they had no idea about the tragedy that would unfold just a few hours later.
“I’ve been to plenty of Weddings before and while there are things like the ceremony, the meal and the speeches to keep you occupied and entertained there are always those slower parts of the day that are pretty dull – fortunately I’ve normally been an usher or in a lot of the group photos so I’ve been alright but it’s the other guests I feel sorry for – I’ve been to some dull ones before but this one really took some beating; I think most people were on their phones, I know I was.”
“you could just see the life drain out of him”Harriet Rogers
Harriet Rogers who also didn’t want to be named had this to say,
It is such a shame, John and Jane really had thought of everything else but straight after the ceremony apart from the champagne and canapes there was nothing happening apart from people being in the odd photo – meanwhile everyone, especially those people who have trouble talking to new people, were just stood rocking from heel to toe politely smiling to each other looking around for something, ANYTHING to happen.”
Eventually something DID happen of course, but not as the bride and groom envisaged, whilst they had their photos taken in the breathtaking Dorset countryside poor Malcolm was seen taking his last conscious breath as he heard for the 5th time in the last 12 minutes how the woman next to him knew the Groom and recited her interminable anecdote about how he used to come into her back garden to fetch his football and she used to give him sweets.
“we had no idea just how little time we’d have with our guests”John and Jane Smith
Speaking just days after the incident the Bride and Groom released a statement apologising –
“We’re sorry for the upset and tedium that our lack of foresight caused, we had no idea just how little time we’d have with our guests and how long we’d have to spend having photos taken.
We hear that Malcolm is going to make a full recovery which we are delighted about, we’re just hoping that he and our other guests can forgive us.”
If you’d like to avoid something similar happening at your wedding it might be in your best interest into hire some entertainment, we hear the magician Chris Piercy is very good at stopping exactly this sort of thing from happening.