A Dorset couple are devastated and left wondering whether an important decision in their Wedding planning has led to one of their guests fighting for his life in a boredom induced coma .
Wedding Boredom induced Coma

Malcolm is expected to make a full recovery.

 John and Jane Smith married at an undisclosed Dorset location on Thursday 1st September expecting to have one of the most special and beautiful days of their lives and despite creating a stunning and memorable Wedding they had no idea about the tragedy that would unfold just a few hours later.

Apparently the complete lack of activity directly after the ceremony caused Malcolm Banks, a 32 year old civil servant, to become so bored that he gently slipped into a coma through sheer tedium as people stood quietly and uncomfortably in groups of strangers desperately waiting for the next part of the day to start.
 
Larry Jones, a guest at the wedding who didn’t want to be named was quoted as saying
“I’ve been to plenty of Weddings before and while there are things like the ceremony, the meal and the speeches to keep you occupied and entertained there are always those slower parts of the day that are pretty dull – fortunately I’ve normally been an usher or in a lot of the group photos so I’ve been alright but it’s the other guests I feel sorry for – I’ve been to some dull ones before but this one really took some beating; I think most people were on their phones, I know I was.”
“you could just see the life drain out of him”
Harriet Rogers

Harriet Rogers who also didn’t want to be named had this to say,

“I didn’t really know the guy but apparently he was the partner of one of the bride’s work colleagues – he didn’t know anyone there and you could just see the life drain out of him as yet another person tried to make small talk saying ‘how lucky they got with the weather’ and ‘didn’t the bride look lovely’.
It is such a shame, John and Jane really had thought of everything else but straight after the ceremony apart from the champagne and canapes there was nothing happening apart from people being in the odd photo – meanwhile everyone, especially those people who have trouble talking to new people, were just stood rocking from heel to toe politely smiling to each other looking around for something, ANYTHING to happen.”
Wedding planning

Breathtaking Dorset Countryside

 

Eventually something DID happen of course, but not as the bride and groom envisaged, whilst they had their photos taken in the breathtaking Dorset countryside poor Malcolm was seen taking his last conscious breath as he heard for the 5th time in the last 12 minutes how the woman next to him knew the Groom and recited her interminable anecdote about how he used to come into her back garden to fetch his football and she used to give him sweets. 

“we had no idea just how little time we’d have with our guests”
John and Jane Smith
 
Doctor’s have prescribed Malcolm with 2 hours of Netflix every day for the next 2 weeks and, fortunately he is expected to make a full recovery – your own Wedding guests might not be quite so lucky.
Medical and Wedding Professionals have suggested that hiring a professional entertainer will prevent that dreaded lull after the ceremony from ever being an issue and have further intimated that this might end up being one of the big talking points of your day.
Wedding Magician relieves boredom

Netflix is set to be a staple part of Malcolm’s recovery.

Speaking just days after the incident the Bride and Groom released a statement apologising –
“We’re sorry for the upset and tedium that our lack of foresight caused, we had no idea just how little time we’d have with our guests and how long we’d have to spend having photos taken.
We hear that Malcolm is going to make a full recovery which we are delighted about, we’re just hoping that he and our other guests can forgive us.”

There’s a moral to this story somewhere.

If you’d like to avoid something similar happening at your wedding it might be in your best interest into hire some entertainment, we hear the magician Chris Piercy is very good at stopping exactly this sort of thing from happening.

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Heartbreak as Wedding guest slips into Boredom induced coma.